one.
her ribs are a cage
holding her heart captive
keeping it locked away
for god knows how long
no matter how much
or hard she tries
she can never release it
…never give it away
two.
her ribs are a cage
restricting her lungs
from gathering enough oxygen
to say three simple words
she can’t stay like this
deprived of oxygen
a white noise rings in her ears
and she fades into darkness
three.
her ribs are a cage
echoing the lonely cries
of her isolated heart
& all the words she’s choked on
[even in the darkness she’s more isolated than others could ever be]
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Comments
[ps were you able to look at the piece i sent you for our collab?]
--
i found you
*project-improve
i have to do a project today and i haven't gotten home till ten the past two nights.
i'll look at it tomorrow.
sorry.]
--
i found you
*project-improve
her ribs are a cage
restricting her lungs
from gathering enough oxygen
to say three simple words
[i love you]'
okay, i think that part would be quite good, except the part in parentheses is almost implied? i just feel like it's an overstatement.
'she can’t stay like this
deprived of oxygen
a white noise rings in her ears
and she fades into darkness'
--
i like to
put haikus where they
don't belong.
i think it'd be better without the [i love you]
& THANK YOU so much
--
i found you
*project-improve
--
“Those who dance are considered insane by those who can’t hear the music.”—George Carlin
#artistic-advancement~~ProjectImprove~=RawEm0tion
~#Project-Pay-Forward~#DeviouslyInspired
thank you
--
i found you
*project-improve
you're welcome.
--
“Those who dance are considered insane by those who can’t hear the music.”—George Carlin
#artistic-advancement~~ProjectImprove~=RawEm0tion
~#Project-Pay-Forward~#DeviouslyInspired
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