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one.
her ribs are a cage
holding her heart captive
keeping it locked away
for god knows how long

no matter how much
or hard she tries
she can never release it
…never give it away

two.
her ribs are a cage
restricting her lungs
from gathering enough oxygen
to say three simple words

she can’t stay like this
deprived of oxygen
a white noise rings in her ears
and she fades into darkness

three.
her ribs are a cage
echoing the lonely cries
of her isolated heart
& all the words she’s choked on

[even in the darkness she’s more isolated than others could ever be]
©2009 ~blue-pixies
:iconblue-pixies:

Author's Comments

this just came to me....

:heart: = [link]
no.17 white noise

Comments


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:iconamertie:
[even in the darkness she’s more isolated than others could ever be]

:heart:
:iconblue-pixies:
thank you
:heart:

[ps were you able to look at the piece i sent you for our collab?]


--
i found you
... but lost myself along the way

*project-improve
:iconamertie:
[ps i haven't had time yet.
i have to do a project today and i haven't gotten home till ten the past two nights.
i'll look at it tomorrow. :heart:
sorry.]
:iconblue-pixies:
[oh, that's absolutly fine, take as much time as you need, and your work should come first anyway so don't worry :heart:]

--
i found you
... but lost myself along the way

*project-improve
:iconohsostarryeyed:
'two.
her ribs are a cage
restricting her lungs
from gathering enough oxygen
to say three simple words

[i love you]'

okay, i think that part would be quite good, except the part in parentheses is almost implied? i just feel like it's an overstatement.

'she can’t stay like this
deprived of oxygen
a white noise rings in her ears
and she fades into darkness'
:heart:

--
i like to
put haikus where they
don't belong.
:iconblue-pixies:
i see what you mean, thank you.
i think it'd be better without the [i love you]
:)
& THANK YOU so much :heart: :hug:

--
i found you
... but lost myself along the way

*project-improve
:iconxxwreckoningxx:
It's so beautiful, yet painful. :heart:

--
“Those who dance are considered insane by those who can’t hear the music.”—George Carlin

#artistic-advancement~~ProjectImprove~=RawEm0tion
~#Project-Pay-Forward~#DeviouslyInspired
:iconblue-pixies:
tis, most of the time i dont know where my ideas come from i just write.
thank you
:heart:

--
i found you
... but lost myself along the way

*project-improve
:iconxxwreckoningxx:
that's the best kind of writing.
you're welcome.

--
“Those who dance are considered insane by those who can’t hear the music.”—George Carlin

#artistic-advancement~~ProjectImprove~=RawEm0tion
~#Project-Pay-Forward~#DeviouslyInspired

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April 13
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